Gijon, Spain

My previous post mentioned, in passing, the financial difficulties the bikini manufacturers are obviously going through, given the lack of material used. I have received an unprecedented amount of feedback regarding my comments on present day swimwear, or lack of it, and felt that further clarification for the case for woollen, neck to knee, one-piece costumes should be made.

Basically the feedback falls into three groups and I will handle them in that way. First, and easily the most proliferate are the licentious requests for photographs of nubile young ladies unknowingly captured on film (digitised images actually) in immodest poses. The gentlemen making these requests should be embarrassed and ashamed of their own behaviour and should consider how they would feel if their identities were published. They should have received their merchandise by the end of the day and I would remind them that payment is required by return, or the afore mentioned publication will appear on Monday.

The second group are the Australians, particularly from the Bondi Beach area. Nobody is trying to spoil your fun, indeed I would argue the opposite is the case. Firstly consider, the weight of a saturated woollen swimming costume will make the wearer a far stronger swimmer if indeed they wish to stay on the surface of the water. Secondly, and perhaps the more important advantage, is that sharks will no longer see people as a tasty little morsel, but as nothing more than a fur-ball! Also it is well documented that the Australian economy needs new industry to take over from the natural resource mining that is dwindling. Sheep farming is the answer, and is what Australians were originally born to do. Un-employment will fall dramatically.

Finally the third group are those arguing against the job losses for the garment industries in third world countries where most of today’s bikinis are made. It should be remembered that the third world is the area that will be most badly affected by rising sea levels as global warming takes hold and the ice caps melt. Woollen swimwear will soak up much of the additional water released into the oceans and save the flood prone areas such as Bangladesh. Wool is also a natural material and causes less pollution than manmade fabrics. Granted, there is a spinoff benefit for Britain, in that, the North of England could re-open all the old mills!

This proposal is financially and ecologically robust, as are the models for this year’s swimwear collection. I think I will talk to Bridget about releasing her own line of swimwear…….

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